March 5, 2010

Sad. alternately crying or being really irritable at work. yea.
At least it is Friday. The weekend requires less energy.
I have traded my Gilmore Girls fascination for Grey’s Anatomy. The Lifetime channel plays three episodes a day. I have been able to watch five seasons of shows in just a few months. My only problem now is that season 6 is half over and it is challenging to find the episodes I have missed. I don’t want to just start watching mid-season missing vital pieces of the plot.


Confession 6 I suppose

March 3, 2010

I have not written for five months. I have been lost in the dark hole of depression, feeling helpless, unable to do the things I need to do to heal, to be me. I haven’t felt like myself in so long-the happy, optimistic, energetic, hopeful, creative girl/woman I have always been. I wonder if I will be her again. I want to be but she seems so far away, at times impossibly far. I’m tired of the fight. The battle to get myself out of bed, to work, building myself up to seeing things as possible; to seeing hope as possible. I have been swimming through the thick cesspool of med after med after med and all the side effects that tag along: tired, sleepless, apathetic, overemotional, hot and sweaty in the middle of winter, lack of weight loss, weird pains… I am so over all of it. I want to be free.

Confession Five

September 28, 2009

Twice I have dated friends’ ex-boyfriends. One was during high school and the other just after. I don’t know what I was thinking. It has been over ten years since I left high school, but I still feel terrible when I think about it. What a bad friend I was.
I didn’t instigate the relationships but I obviously agreed to them. I wasn’t a flirt or a slut in high school. I was actually the quiet, shy girl.
I really regret it.

Confession Four

September 27, 2009

In seventh grade I attended a small Christian school. One of the last days of school some kid brought in a thermos full of wine cooler. I drank some. It is not the wildest thing ever, but is the wildest thing I ever did in school.

Confession Three

September 27, 2009

I love to tweeze. I love pulling out hair with tweezers. Not just eyebrows, I will sit and tweeze my underarms. I will even do my legs. I get great satisfaction in methodically removing the hairs. I try to tweeze my husband’s brows as well. He also occasionally gets these crazy thick hairs in his beard and I love pulling them out. They are freak hairs, which do not cause him any pain, but give me great pleasure in removing.
Yeah, I know I’m weird.

Confession Two

September 26, 2009

In third grade I stole the sweet tarts that were meant to be some kind of reward out of my teacher’s drawer. Didn’t get caught. Hadn’t stolen before. Didn’t steal after.

Confession One

September 25, 2009

So I decided to start my blog with confessions; confessions of things no one knows about me, things that are embarrassing, things that are bizarre.

Confession One:  I have a secret obsession with Gilmore Girls.  I have my DVR record the daily reruns.  I watch episodes I have already seen repeatedly.  I never actually watched the show until it went in to syndication, but now I watch it excessively.   I cannot resist the delightful, adroit banter of Lorelai and Rory.